Why can’t I switch off after work?

It’s rarely one thing: constant messages, a to-do list that never ends and expectations you’ve absorbed about being always available can all keep your mind at work. Taking work home and working longer hours are both on the HSE’s list of behavioural signs of work-related stress.

In my experience working with clients, the way we talk to ourselves and what we believe about a situation stresses us more than the circumstances themselves. That’s why one of the steps below is about noticing the beliefs behind the pressure.

Before I became a coach, I spent more than ten years as a chemical engineer, so I understand how demanding professional life can be. Here is where I’d start.

What are the signs of work stress?

The HSA groups the effects of work stress into mental, physical, behavioural and cognitive signs, from irritability and poor sleep to withdrawing from others and trouble concentrating. Short-term stress is normal, and the concern is stress that persists and keeps getting worse.

Other people sometimes notice these changes before you do. Some of these signs can also have other causes, so if you’re worried about your health, speak to your GP.

How can I switch off after work?

Decide where your working day ends, and treat that line as a boundary rather than a suggestion. Then give yourself a few simple habits that help your mind follow your body out of work mode.

Here are four practical steps:

1. Name your finishing time. Say it out loud to someone, whether that’s a colleague or the person you live with, so it becomes a commitment and not a hope.
2. Plan tomorrow before you stop. Write down the next day’s most important tasks so your mind doesn’t have to hold them overnight.
3. Decide what to start with. Ask yourself what truly can’t wait until tomorrow, and let the rest wait. The Eisenhower matrix is a simple way to sort your tasks by what is urgent and what is important.
4. Notice the beliefs behind the pressure. If you catch yourself thinking “I should reply straight away”, ask where that expectation came from and who actually holds it.

Do I have the right to switch off from work in Ireland?

To a degree, yes. Ireland’s Code of Practice on the Right to Disconnect, published by the Workplace Relations Commission on 1 April 2021, says employees can generally step away from work communications after normal hours and shouldn’t be penalised for declining out-of-hours work.

It isn’t an absolute right, because some roles occasionally need work outside normal hours. Employers aren’t legally required to follow the code, but the Workplace Relations Commission and the courts take any failure to follow it into account. If you’re finding it hard to disconnect because of workload or workplace culture, the code expects your employer to address that, and you can raise problems with the Workplace Relations Commission.

When is it time to talk to someone about work stress?

If the stress isn’t easing, or it’s getting worse, it’s time to talk to someone rather than push on alone. The HSE advisestalking things through, using the support services you have and asking your GP for help managing your health.

If your employer offers counselling or an employee assistance programme, use it. The HSA also points employees to raising concerns with their employer, who is expected to act on work-related stress once it is brought to their attention.

How can a stress management coach help?

A stress management coach helps you understand what is driving your stress and develop practical ways to manage it, rather than diagnosing or treating anything. In my six-week programme we do this one-to-one online, with 20 minutes of distance Reiki and 40 minutes of coaching each week.

We look at boundaries, competing priorities and the expectations that keep you under pressure, so you can find a better work-life balance that fits your life. I don’t present Reiki as a treatment for anything, and the coaching is never a substitute for medical care. You can read more about the stress management programme for professionals, or the version for business owners if you run your own business.

Want to talk it through?

Book a free discovery call on Zoom and we’ll explore whether the programme is right for you. It’s free, and you can ask me anything about it.

Book a free discovery call

About the author. Natalia Arnaiz is a Stress Management Coach and Reiki Master & Teacher working online with professionals and business owners across Ireland. She has practised Reiki since 2010 and spent more than ten years as a chemical engineer before becoming a coach in 2021. More about Natalia

If you’re a professional or a business owner, you probably know the feeling. Work follows you everywhere: on your phone, in your notifications and in your thoughts. There’s always one more email, one more request, one more thing that could be done. And the things that matter outside work, such as family, friends, rest and the things you enjoy, keep getting pushed to “when things calm down”.

Why is work-life balance so hard to get right?

Losing your balance doesn’t mean you’re bad at managing your time. Often it comes from the way we respond to pressure. You may feel responsible for everything going well, find it hard to say no or believe that being constantly available shows you’re committed.

For business owners it can be even harder. When the business is yours, there is always something else you could be doing, and nobody else to tell you to stop. Remote and hybrid working have blurred the line too, because home is now often where work happens.

If your mind never gets a genuine break, stress can slowly become your normal state. Creating a better balance starts with noticing these patterns and making small, deliberate changes.

You finish work, close your laptop and tell yourself that the working day is over.

How can I improve my work-life balance? 6 practical ways

1. Decide what balance means for you

Balance looks different for everyone. For one person it means being home for dinner with the children; for another it means two evenings a week for a hobby or a weekend with no email at all. Ask yourself: what would I do more of if work took up less space? That answer gives you something concrete to protect.

2. Put the things that matter in your diary

We plan our meetings in detail and leave our personal life to whatever time is left over. Try the opposite. Block out time for what matters to you, whether it’s a walk, exercise, cooking, time with family, reading, meeting a friend or a hobby, and treat it like any other appointment. The goal isn’t to be productive in your free time. It’s to remind yourself that your identity is bigger than your work.

3. Set boundaries with technology

Work often takes over because we give it constant access. You check one email after dinner, then another, and before you know it you’re mentally back at your desk. A few simple boundaries help:

• turn off work notifications after a set time
• remove work email from your personal phone if you can
• avoid checking messages just before bed

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you care less about your work. It means you know rest is what lets you keep performing well.

4. Tell people when you’re available

Boundaries only hold if the people around you know about them. Let your team know when you reply to messages, and use an out-of-office or email signature that says so. If you run your own business, set these expectations with clients from the start. Most people respect a clear answer far more than an instant one.

5. Say no, or not now, more often

Every yes to an extra project or a late meeting is a no to something else in your life. Before you agree, pause and ask: what will this cost me? Sometimes the honest answer is “not this week” or “yes, if something else moves”. If you run your own business, look at which tasks truly need you and which could be delegated, simplified or dropped.

6. Allow yourself to pause

For some people, doing nothing feels uncomfortable. The moment they stop, they start thinking about everything that still needs doing. But rest isn’t wasted time. A pause gives you space to notice how you’re feeling and what you actually need. With my clients, I combine coaching with distance Reiki as a time to slow down and create that space. It isn’t a treatment for anything, simply time to stop and reconnect with yourself.

Does work-life balance have to be perfect?

No. Some weeks will be busier than others. Deadlines happen, businesses go through demanding periods and unexpected problems appear. What matters is whether the pressure is temporary, or whether feeling constantly overwhelmed has become your normal way of living.

So start with one small change. Turn off one notification. Book one evening for yourself. Say “not this week” to one request. Small changes can start to create much-needed space between your work and the rest of your life.

If what makes balance hard is the stress itself, or not being able to stop thinking about work in the evenings, my guide on how to deal with work stress [ADD LINK] looks at the causes, the signs and what to do.

How can a coach help you create a better work-life balance?

If you feel constantly overwhelmed or struggle to make time for yourself, you don’t have to accept that as part of professional life. In my six-week online programme we work one-to-one, with 20 minutes of distance Reiki and 40 minutes of coaching each week. Together we look at what is contributing to your stress and build practical, personalised strategies to help you create a work-life balance that fits your life. Coaching is never a substitute for medical or mental health care.

Read more about the stress management programme for professionals, or the programme for business owners if you run your own business.

Ready to create more space in your life?

Book a free discovery call on Zoom and we’ll explore whether the programme is right for you. Sometimes the first step is simply giving yourself permission to stop, even for a little while.

Book a free discovery call

About the author. Natalia Arnaiz is a Stress Management Coach and Reiki Master & Teacher working online with professionals and business owners across Ireland. She has practised Reiki since 2010 and spent more than ten years as a chemical engineer before becoming a Coach in 2021. More about Natalia