How to deal with work stress when you can’t switch off
Can’t switch off when the working day is over? You’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong. Learning how to deal with work stress starts with understanding why it follows you home. In this post I’ll cover the signs to look out for, what employees in Ireland can expect from the right to disconnect, and practical ways to switch off, from my work as a stress management coach.
Why can’t I switch off after work?
For many people, perfectionism is a part of it.
It’s rarely one thing: constant messages, a to-do list that never ends and expectations you’ve absorbed about being always available can all keep your mind at work. Taking work home and working longer hours are both on the HSE’s list of behavioural signs of work-related stress.
In my experience working with clients, the way we talk to ourselves and what we believe about a situation stresses us more than the circumstances themselves. That’s why one of the steps below is about noticing the beliefs behind the pressure.
Before I became a coach, I spent more than ten years as a chemical engineer, so I understand how demanding professional life can be. Here is where I’d start.
What are the signs of work stress?
The HSA groups the effects of work stress into mental, physical, behavioural and cognitive signs, from irritability and poor sleep to withdrawing from others and trouble concentrating. Short-term stress is normal, and the concern is stress that persists and keeps getting worse.
| Type of sign | What it can look like |
| Mental | Irritability, anger, a shorter attention span, memory problems, tearfulness |
| Physical | Poor sleep, poor eating, less exercise |
| Behavioural | Withdrawing from others, or unhealthy ways of coping |
| Cognitive | Trouble concentrating or thinking clearly |
Other people sometimes notice these changes before you do. Some of these signs can also have other causes, so if you’re worried about your health, speak to your GP.
How can I switch off after work?
Decide where your working day ends, and treat that line as a boundary rather than a suggestion. Then give yourself a few simple habits that help your mind follow your body out of work mode.
Here are four practical steps:
- Name your finishing time. Say it out loud to someone, whether that’s a colleague or the person you live with, so it becomes a commitment and not a hope.
- Plan tomorrow before you stop. Write down the next day’s most important tasks so your mind doesn’t have to hold them overnight.
- Decide what to start with. Ask yourself what truly can’t wait until tomorrow, and let the rest wait. The Eisenhower matrix is a simple way to sort your tasks by what is urgent and what is important.
- Notice the beliefs behind the pressure. If you catch yourself thinking “I should reply straight away”, ask where that expectation came from and who actually holds it.
Do I have the right to switch off from work in Ireland?
To a degree, yes. Ireland’s Code of Practice on the Right to Disconnect, published by the Workplace Relations Commission on 1 April 2021, says employees can generally step away from work communications after normal hours and shouldn’t be penalised for declining out-of-hours work.
It isn’t an absolute right, because some roles occasionally need work outside normal hours. Employers aren’t legally required to follow the code, but the Workplace Relations Commission and the courts take any failure to follow it into account. If you’re finding it hard to disconnect because of workload or workplace culture, the code expects your employer to address that, and you can raise problems with the Workplace Relations Commission.
When is it time to talk to someone about work stress?
If the stress isn’t easing, or it’s getting worse, it’s time to talk to someone rather than push on alone. The HSE advises talking things through, using the support services you have and asking your GP for help managing your health.
If your employer offers counselling or an employee assistance programme, use it. The HSA also points employees to raising concerns with their employer, who is expected to act on work-related stress once it is brought to their attention.
How can a stress management coach help?
A stress management coach helps you understand what is driving your stress and develop practical ways to manage it, rather than diagnosing or treating anything. In my six-week programme we do this one-to-one online, with 20 minutes of distance Reiki and 40 minutes of coaching each week.
We look at boundaries, competing priorities and the expectations that keep you under pressure, so you can find a better work-life balance that fits your life. I don’t present Reiki as a treatment for anything, and the coaching is never a substitute for medical care. You can read more about the stress management programme for professionals, or the version for business owners if you run your own business.
Want to talk it through?
Book a free discovery call on Zoom and we’ll explore whether the programme is right for you. It’s free, and you can ask me anything about it.
About the author. Natalia Arnaiz is a Stress Management Coach and Reiki Master & Teacher working online with professionals and business owners across Ireland. She has practised Reiki since 2010 and spent more than ten years as a chemical engineer before becoming a coach in 2021. More about Natalia
